so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
