remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
