Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
