all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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