My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
