i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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