There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
