O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
