something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Someone signed my nipple.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
