i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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