just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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