Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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