he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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