For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
