Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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