Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
