just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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