I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
