Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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