So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
