kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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