Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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