Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
