not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
did i walk over a car last night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
