I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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