I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize