brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
