Porn is love you can see.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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