I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize