Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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