You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
