my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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