We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
