you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
