but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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