you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
