if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
