My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
