"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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