lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
