I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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