I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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