Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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