I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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