WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
