His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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