nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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