She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You pole danced in your parka.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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