Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
