she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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