In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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