2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
A bitchslap is in order.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
