I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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