did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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