apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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