I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
tell your sister to shave her snatch
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
